Everybody Loves a Good Health Insurance Joke, Right?

Insurance Sales Jokes

The health insurance business is usually no laughing matter. We often deal with clients’ health challenges, claims, provider access issues, and so much more. However, it’s important to recognize the importance of humor. Everyone likes a good joke, and some enjoy a bad joke even more. After all, a good “Dad Joke” will leave a lasting impression.

Check this out from the Mayo Clinic. A joke can help soothe tension, relief stress, improve your immune system, relieve pain, and improve your mood. Vanderbilt University researchers say “genuine voice laughter” can cause a 10-20% increase in heart rate and calorie-burning energy (above resting levels).

So, move over Chelsea Handler, there’s a new show in town.

Health Insurance Sales Jokes

1. Three people die: a doctor, school teacher, and the head of a large insurance company.
When met at the pearly gates by St. Peter, he asks the doctor, “What did you do on Earth?”
The doctor replied, “I healed the sick and if they could not pay I would do it for free.” St. Peter told the doctor, “You may go in.”
St. Peter then asked the teacher what she did; she replied, “I taught educationally challenged children.” St. Peter then told her “You may go in.”
St. Peter asked the third man, “What did you do?” The man hung his head and replied, “I ran a large insurance company.” St. Peter replied, “You may go in, but you can only stay three days.”

2. I asked my grandfather why he doesn’t have life insurance.

He answered: “Because I want you to be truly sad when I am gone.”

3. Why do insurance sales people make good spouses?
Because they are premium lovers.

4. Choosing the right coverage.

Jim´s barn burned down. Julie, his wife, called the insurance company and said, “We had our barn insured for $50,000 and I’d like our money.”

“Whoa there, just a minute, Julie,” said the agent. “It doesn´t work like that. We will assess the value of the building and provide you with a new one of comparable worth.”

Julie, after a pause, said, “Well, in that case, I´d like to cancel the policy we have on my husband.”

5. Genie grants a wish.
An insurance sales rep, an administration clerk, and their manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it, and a genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The genie says, “I usually only grant three wishes, so I´ll give each of you just one wish.”

“Me first, me first,” says the admin clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.” Poof! She´s gone.

In astonishment, the sales rep says, “Me next! Me next! I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with a personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas, and the love of my life.” Poof! He´s gone.

“OK, you´re up,” the genie says to the manager.

The manager says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”

Moral of story: always let your boss have the first say.

6. Can you take it with you?
Mr. James was a rich old man dying from a rare disease. On his deathbed, he called for his insurance agent, doctor, and minister.

“I trusted each of you during my entire life. Now I want to give each of you $30,000 cash in an envelope to put in my grave. I want to take it with me.”

Mr. James died. At the funeral, the insurance agent, doctor, and minister each placed an envelope on top of the man, then he was laid to rest.

On the way from the funeral, in the limo, the doctor confessed “I must tell you gentlemen, I only put $20,000 on top of Mr. James. I wanted to buy this new medical device that would enable me to diagnose his rare disease and save others. It´s what he would have wanted.”

Then the minister said: “I have to confess, I only put $10,000 on top of Mr. James. We needed that money at the church so we might help more homeless. It’s what Mr. James would´ve wanted.”

The insurance agent was angry at both men and said: “I can´t believe both of you, stealing from a dead man. I wrote Mr. James a check for the full $30,000!”

7. A sure-fire hit
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
HIPAA who?
Sorry, I can’t tell you.

8. Is HIPAA a HIPAA . . . or just a really cool AA? Get it . . . anyone?

9. Expensive care
You know, dental treatments are getting expensive. The only place left where I can afford a
cavity check is the county jail!

10. Evidence
The other day I tried to make an insurance claim. The company said I needed to provide “evidence.” So, I sent them a copy of my bank statement.

11. Catch-22?
Insurance can be complicated. I bought Life Insurance, but then I realized it’s just betting against myself. “Come on, universe, don’t let me win this one!”

12. Animal quiz
What animal is great at keeping secrets?
A HIPAA-Potatmus.

13. Coverage denial
Did you hear about the talented baker who could not get insurance?
She was considered a high-whisk customer.

14. Name change
Did you hear about the insurance agent who wanted to change his name?
What name he choose? Justin Case.

15. Holiday humor
Why doesn’t Santa provide health insurance to his workers?
Because they are all s-elf employed.

There you have it, folks. You are sure to really liven up your next party with these in your back pocket. Remember, laughter is the best policy.

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